38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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