who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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