I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize