i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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