The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
