Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
