But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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