he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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