Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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