so explain again why im purple
no
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
