I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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