covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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