Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
