You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
