she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I touched a dick in church today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
