I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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