I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
