i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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