and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
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I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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