Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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