i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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