I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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