Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
