Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis

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(904): View more from Florida

We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese

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(903): View more from Texas

One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.

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(61): View more from Australia

Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other

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(773): View more from Illinois

the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.

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