Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
