what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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