it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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