She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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