Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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