the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize