I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
