wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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