Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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