One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize