Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
