It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
