the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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