I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
