So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
