Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
did i walk over a car last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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