I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
