These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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