first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
