Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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