we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How does one acquire holy water?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
