If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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