I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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