He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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