I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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