"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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