He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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