it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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