What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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