Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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