There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
