it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
