Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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