am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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