i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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