dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
