I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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