Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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