Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
