So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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