I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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