Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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