There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
